Tantric sex: what it is and how to do it

The term tantric sex has probably been heard by millions of people, but what exactly is it? To understand what it is, you need to understand tantra, which is an ancient spiritual belief system that originated in India thousands of years ago. According to Indian tradition, tantra is the radical belief that everything is part of the spiritual path of every human being. 

Sex is only a small part of tantra. However, many people have started to focus only on this tiny fraction. For what reason? Probably because it aims in an extraordinary way to replace feelings of “modesty” towards sexual practices in general. Tantra offers the undeniable opportunity to bring sacredness, intimacy and gratitude back into the sexual lives of many people. 

Anyone can benefit from tantra and related sex. Even though tantra is a spiritual path, it does not have to be exclusive to spiritual people. But what is the tantric sexual act and how to do it? Read on to know its definition and various tricks to do it the right way, regardless of whether it is practiced alone or as a couple. 

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What is tantric sex?

Close-up of a beautiful blonde doctor in the office with her face turned towards the camera

In tantric sex the main goal is not orgasm, but to enjoy the sensations, pleasure and connection that come with it. It’s a slower, more conscious way of practicing sex

Sex is a mind-altering journey, it’s an exploration of how deep, dynamic, healing, creative and inspiring it can be when it aims for something other than simple orgasm. 

This practice can be divided into two categories: “red tantra” and “white tantra”. Red tantra is the one practiced together with the partner, while white tantra is the one practiced alone. 

How to have tantric sex alone

Close-up of a woman posing on the bed with several vibrators - Tantric sex

Now that you understand what tantric sex is, all that remains is to try it. Experts recommend starting on your own. Why? By changing your normal solo practice, you can change the way you have sex with your partner. Below are the basic steps to get started… 

1 – Transform the room and start breathing

The first step is to transform the bedroom into a temple. Everything must be in order, the music must be designed to create a sensual mood, the lights must be dimmed, the essential oils must be pleasant to the senses and the room temperature must be comfortable. 

The first step to take is to try diaphragmatic breathing, also called bellyrelationship or abdominal breathing. To do this, you need to place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Take a deep breath through your nose and listen to your belly as it expands. Inhale four times and then slowly exhale through your mouth four times. “Such breathing helps to calm the adrenal glands and lead the body and mind into a state of relaxation that generates a sort of transcendental experience”.

2 – Explore your entire body and start masturbating slowly

In addition to the genitals, the entire body is an instrument of pleasure and expansion. The neck, chestabdomen, inside of the thighs and ankles contain the main “chakras” of the body and, consequently, are considered erogenous zones. “This is why self-massage and touch on these areas is important”. As you do this, pay attention to the sensations that occur in the uterus, pelvic floor, cervix, and vagina. 

The groin is also a chakra and, as such, must be touched. Slowly though, maybe twice more than usual. There is a famous saying in tantra: “three strikes for thirty”. What does it mean? Better to touch yourself three times but with a genuine conscience than thirty times without attention. 

Can sex toys be useful? Certain! Since it’s about focusing on building erotic energy, vibrators , butt plugs or rubber dildos are fine. “The advice is to slide the toy along the abdomen and along the limbs to amplify the sensations”.

3 – Make the leap in quality

The final step is to masturbate to orgasm. First, however, you need to stop it and breathe it up your body and into your heart. Repeat again and then, at the end, give yourself a genital orgasm. 

How to have tantric sex with your partner

Beautiful couple lying in bed - Tantric sex

Is the desire to try it with a partner? Always remember that, even if externally the sexual practice could be of any type, the difference is what is happening inside. Below are the basic steps…

1 – Talk to your partner and get in tune

The first step is to talk to your partner, explain to him how fantastic this practice is and convince him to try it together. 

There is also one important thing: during the preliminary phase, keep away negative thoughts such as “What will we do next?“, “Will I ever be able to orgasm? ”, “Will the sex I have now be better or worse than yesterday? ”.

It is these thoughts that create anxiety and anguish. Instead, the suggestion is to “use your breath and ask yourself questions” like “Where do I feel you most intensely? ” to get in tune with the present moment. It may be helpful to match your breathing with that of your partner.

2 – Look each other in the eyes and kiss

Continuous eye contact is very important. To avoid embarrassment or sudden laughter, relax and continue breathing. Very soon a sort of adorable “hypnotic intimacy” will take over, different from the normal sensations felt during an exchange of glances. “Kisses must be delicate and intense, because in tantra kissing is the same as making oral love”.

3 – Try different tantric sexual positions

The tantric sexual act is all about connection. As a result, as long as you stay in touch, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Any position is tantric, slowing it down, adding staring or just waiting. 

One position in particular could be experimented with: the “Yab Yum“, which is considered by experts to be the position of the tantric sexual act, in which “the penetrating partner sits cross-legged and the receiving partner straddles his knees. A position that puts one in front of the other and capable of wrapping around the lower back.

While the two partners embrace each other, they must continue to look intensely into each other’s eyes and breathe deeply. The hug is in itself a very sweet gesture, but in tantra it also allows you to control the speed and depth, bringing both partners closer.

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